


Keeping Promises

by ohmyclara



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Happy ending though, Kinda, everyone dies, just so much pain haha enjoy, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8521438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmyclara/pseuds/ohmyclara
Summary: Clara had been traveling for nine years when she finally met him again.





	

Clara had been traveling for nine years when she finally met him again.  
And those nine years were very busy for Clara and Me. Their first adventure almost killed them, which was a major inconvenience since Clara wasn’t technically allowed to die. Zygons did not take that argument well though: they chased girls around London for a few hours. It was kinda boring after that: they saved a few planets, redecorated the diner, ruled a small world called Nyota for a couple of decades (Clara didn’t count those as – well – they weren’t actually traveling back then).  
On the seventh year of their run, Me finally popped the question. They were standing in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, watching three of the fish people getting married – confusing, yet beautiful view, that lady Me wasn’t enjoying that much as she was looking at Clara with The Look the whole time. The Look was quite irritating.  
\- You do realize that if you wanna ask something, you can just, you know, go for it.  
The Look did not disappear.  
\- That way around you are taking, - Me said, and finally turned away, - it’s getting too long.  
Clara didn’t respond.  
Yeah, she had to die. It was pretty obvious – she liked living, but she also liked the universe and didn’t want it to crack in half. But still – after all this time, after all the lives she’d saved, all the people she’d help – that said universe owed her one. She could run a little longer. Not that she was scared – it just seemed a bit pointless. She knew that one day she had to come back to Gallifrey. Be brave. But she was Clara Oswald and the stupid homeland of Timelords couldn’t be her last destination.  
She just needed to find one.  
On the eighth year, they got stuck in space. Clara was never happier to be dead, because even their diner wouldn’t have fed the two of them for sixty-one year. Pity. She was actually craving an omelet.  
Fortunately, some nanobots knocked into them and fixed the TARDIS. By that point of time, both girls got a little bored.  
And then it just happened.  
All those years, Clara had been wondering whether she’ll meet her grumpy old man again. She imagined very different scenarios in which they bumped into each other while saving some endangered species or watching the star burning down. And finally – it happened.  
She saw him at a coffee shop.  
Okay, technically a coffee shop in space, but the Doctor always despised such specification.  
He recognized her. Well, not her – Clara Oswald, her – that waitress from the diner, the one that got his TARDIS back, with the picture of her all over the place. Such a show off.  
\- Yeah, I stole a spaceship, - Clara said, when he asked how did she managed to run away from him.  
\- Where is it, then?  
She looked at the door. Ashildr was frozen there, for the first time in forever unsure of what to do. Then she looked back at her Doctor.  
\- I don’t have it on me, - she said quietly.  
\- Well then, - he suddenly jumped a little and she saw a very familiar twinkle of excitement in the corner of his eye, - maybe you’d like to travel with me for a bit?  
He might have erased all the memories of her to keep the universe safe and to be loyal to his old vow to the time. But she never gave time any promises.  
Ashildr was waiting for her outside, silently.  
\- No lectures? – Clara asked playfully. She and the Doctor shared lots of things, and the hatred towards goodbyes was certainly one of them. Suddenly, Me smiled.  
\- Look up, - she said and so Clara did: she would never miss an opportunity to gaze at the sky.  
\- You can’t see it now, but all the stars and all the galaxies are right there right now. Existing. Living. Breathing. There are no time rifts. No cracks. Because the universe knows that one day you will return to your fixed point to save the world one last time. The only thing you should, must do is to keep that thought in the back of your mind. Always.  
\- We all face our ravens in the end, - Clara reminded, still looking at the sky, - I’ll know for sure when it’s time to meet mine.  
***  
She said her name was Oswin and that she was born in London. He believed her – or at least pretended to do so. She said she travelled a lot and heard the stories of the great man in the blue box, saving stars and preventing wars, the man named the Doctor.  
\- Legends, - he mumbled, - they tend to exaggerate greatly.  
\- Except they weren’t legends, - she objected, - they were all memories.  
He stayed silent for a second and Clara thought that she saw sadness in his eyes.  
\- Yes, - he said quietly and pulled another lever. Clara felt the TARDIS moving (oh how she missed that noise!).  
\- I suppose they were.  
And so, they went. He took her to see the five moons of Donrar – the world of mermaids. “Nobody calls them mermaids, Oswin,” he hisses at her, when she mentions it. The queens tail tumbles in anger. “They are the water nymphs”. She apologizes and everyone is happy, she bets they are, as she and her old man just saved the whole place from some angry crabs. “The Horrific Sand Devils, Oswin”, he rolls his eyes, “for God’s sake”. Before they leave they land on one of the moons – this is where the true beauty is as they can clearly see the planet of sheer ocean, blue, sparkling planet. She trips a little, but he grabs her hand so that she doesn’t fall. Then he frowns. She looks away.  
\- Is your heart not beating? – he is extremely confused.  
\- Of course it beats, - she lies.  
Next there are millions of adventures. After a month spend together he finally wakes up and suggests that she probably needs to get home.  
\- Well it’s the TARDIS, right? – she says, praying for her voice to stop shaking, - you’ll get me there anytime. Just not today.  
Not today lasts for a year. She wonders whether the Doctor knows that something is wrong or just doesn’t takes time the way humans do.  
There are days he looks at her and she can swear that he remembers. When they stand on the drowned submarine, when they run away from cyberman, when they walk through the infinite woods of the Cordasal. But in the end of the day she is always just an Oswin. And he cherishes her, and protects, and keeps her safe. But then she looks into his eyes and all she can see is the reflection.  
She tries her best. The Doctor swore never to become the Hybrid, so she stops being Clara Oswald – well, most of the time. Inventing Oswin is fun even – so she creates a girl who is afraid of everything but too adventures to be defeated by the fear. A girl who is not a friend, but a companion, not a teller, but a listener. A girl who is kind? and caring, and very bad at making tough choices. Oswin is amazing, Clara thinks.  
And she is as possible as it gets.  
Once upon a time, they visit the library. Clara knows that this place became an infinite home for River Song, she knows the grief of her Doctor, but all Oswin sees are bookshelves. And as she tries her best to be an Oswin, there aren’t many things she can say, so she distracts him instead.  
\- Where does your lot go, when they die? – Oswin asks. But the answer surprises both her and Clara.  
\- It depends, - the Doctor says, and then goes silent.  
\- What do you mean?  
He hesitates. Clara gets it – he doesn’t know her that well, but Oswin is getting a bit offended.  
\- You’ve heard the legends, - he starts and turns around to look out of an enormous window. The sunrise is getting very close.  
\- It is extremely hard for a Time Lord to die, and even then – we regenerate, change ourselves completely, creating the new person.  
\- But… - she is confused and it happens with her very rarely, - you still stay the Doctor. You are always – well, - you. You keep your memories, you keep you love and your hatred, you don’t disappear completely.  
\- That is a rare case, - he says calmly and even smiles a little, - I save those things, because I took the commitment. I named myself the Doctor, but it’s more than just a name. It’s a promise. A promise to always remember who I am, what I am for and what I’m running to. When Time Lords die, the only thing that’s left is their last incarnation stuck in a matrix. When I’ll die, it won’t be just that – every person I’ve ever been will be saved there, living, remembering, reminding.  
She nods thoughfully.  
The sun comes up.  
***  
After the library, they go to Earth. She hasn’t been here for quite a lot of time, a century, almost. And it’s a mess.  
There is a huge war and nobody seem to even remember what they’re fighting for, and there is a scared girl – Clara thinks her name is Bill, and there is a solder that is about to shoot her and then there is the Doctor.  
She holds Bill’s hand as they run towards the TARDIS and the girl is safe and they are all safe and then her old man just collapses to the floor. But she doesn’t let him fall.  
He is heavy but she manages to catch him and as gently as possible puts him on the ground. Her eyes are full with tears. The bird is very close, but God – oh God, - how little time she got with him this time.  
When he opens his eyes it’s already started and his hands are glowing with the golden light of regeneration. But not one of them seem to care, because for the first time he looks at her with the smile and that smile belongs is hers.  
Finally – just hers.  
\- Clara, - he whispers and smiles even wider, - I’d found you in the end, hadn’t I?  
She sobs because there is no way anyone could be as tortured and as happy as she is. She doesn’t say a word, the only thing she needs is the infinite recognition frozen in his stare as she finally can be Clara again. His Clara.  
One last time.  
The Doctor moves a little and Clara sees a screwdriver in his hands as he pushes some button and she is so angry with him, for all they have are those moments and as they’re fleeting they need to just hold each other. Finally, those second are gone too. He looks at her and smiles again.  
\- Your heart isn’t beating, - he whispers.  
\- Of course it beats.  
And this time it’s almost true.  
She doesn’t watch his body being captured by the flames of regeneration. Whoever born in that fire will no longer be hers. She catches the Bill’s terrified stare and thinks that maybe she needs to explain something, but Clara is tires – so tired, and instead, she just smiles at her, hoping, that maybe the girl will understand.  
And Clara just wants to hear that very last heartbeat.  
***  
Suddenly, it’s all over.  
The Ravens goes through her and she screams, and screams, and screams…  
And then she opens her eyes.  
Where is she?  
The place looks familiar, but she’s never been here before. A big room, filled with bookshelves and couches, small table by the window and the man. Clara freezes. No.  
It’s absolutely, completely, insanely impossible.  
\- Clara, - the man says, - my Clara.  
She takes a step but her legs don’t seem to communicate with her brain so she just stands there. Like an idiot.  
\- How, - she whispers then and watches the Doctor smile.  
\- There are a lot of libraries in the world, - he says softly and finally approaches her himself. She does nothing except grabbing his hand with the intention never to let go.  
\- A great deal of libraries, - he repeats, - but none of them is bigger than mine.  
She is Clara Oswald so that is all the help she needs.  
\- You saved us, - she says slowly, - just like you did with River. But what about your promise? The Doctor will forget you now, won’t he? Does that mean…  
\- It means nothing, - he said firmly, - the Doctor won’t lose anything if he doesn’t remember a bitter old man. This one time - it’s just me.  
She doesn’t even get to ask him why would he do that to himself and doesn’t get to fell the guilt. He puts his hand over hers.  
\- This man, this me has always been yours. From the moment I was created to the second my heart stopped beating. I was yours when I was nothing but a blank leaf, I was yours when you promised your heart to someone else. Even when I couldn’t remember you – I was yours. Always. Forever.  
As they were speaking the sun was coming up and the wind was getting stronger. The TARDIS did a great job recreating her home world - just for the two of them.  
Clara had been travelling for almost a century when she finally reached her destination point.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! I'm always happy to hear some criticism and since English is only my second language, all comment on the structure and the choice of the words is greatly appreciated.


End file.
